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Peeve the First

I mentioned back on May 13th that in lieu of going out to dinner on that night in May to celebrate our anniversary, Beloved Husband and I were holding out for September 13th, when we could say that we had been married for 33 1/3 years and 1/3 day, a full third of a century. Back in May, we talked to a restauranteur in our community, and made sure he could make modifications to handle my dietary needs (very low cholesterol, plenty of veggies, no pecans or walnuts, carbs better if whole grain, and served in portions amounting to 30 to 40 g carbohydrate max). He looked up for me whether the date was actually one when they were going to be open, and said he was sure he could do something lovely. So far so good.

A week ago Tuesday, we called and officially got our reservation, and I sent the restauranteur my dietary needs and prohibitions as an email, so he could have them to consult when and as needed. I began to search around our small town for babysitters. This is complicated by the fact that when your town is small enough that 21 is the Biggest Elementary School Class EVAR, and this year we will graduate 3 - yes, 3! In some years the pool of available sitters is small. I teach swimming and taught French as a volunteer in the school. I know these kids, and out of the limited pool there are some I would nevereverever trust to watch the high-spirited Whirlwind. By that Saturday I had someone lined up. Whew!

On Tuesday of this week she canceled. Okay. Back to the list. No luck that day. The next day, I succeeded in getting a "I'd love to do it if I don't have to work that night. I can let you know tomorrow afternoon." Never did hear back from her, so I hit the phones Thursday night, and managed to get a classmate of Middle Daughter's who was willing to do it. Whew again!

On the day, I was busy much of the day, getting some cleaning done, getting a meal ready for The Whirlwind, and getting showered and ready in a nice outfit. We only go out every two to three years, so this was an Occasion. Once I was ready, with 10 minutes to go before the babysitter was due, and 40 minutes until our reservation, I sat down to check my email. Maybe one of my kids had written. There was a notification of a Facebook message sent two hours previously. Our sitter had canceled.

Grumps. Despair. A futile attempt to find a substitute close enough to fill in at the last second (as if I hadn't already called almost everyone already).

Finally Beloved Husband called up to the Inn, explained our problem, and asked to have them pack up our meal as takeout.

The ambiance left a little to be desired, ("If it's just you two, why can't I come down? Can I come down and get my light-up stuffie? How is your dinner? Is it sooo good? Daddy, can you save me some of your cheesecake?") but there we were, elegantly dressed, and the company was the best there is. The food was pretty good too.

So - Pet Peeve Number One - Baby Sitters Who Cancel Without Warning Or Consideration

Middle Daughter says it was a case of she decided that she didn't want to do it, and bailed. She told us that she was feeling indisposed. She's all about all the fun of the Fair today. Hmmm... I thought I knew her better than that.

Pet Peeve the Second

Our landline (the only phone that works where we are) has a HORRIBLE BUZZ. Yeah, I was shouting just then. So does it. I called the phone company to troubleshoot it. They had me unplug all the phones and the modem for at least 5 minutes, and then go to the outside box, disconnect the house, and plug an old-fashioned totally wired phone in. Yeah, being middle aged, we have one of those. The disconnecting fixed nothing, the buzz was still there, so the agent said they would send someone out the next day, and that the problem was definitely in their lines, and not within our house. So we expected it to be fixed the next day (Friday). Nope.

Apparently, they decided that since I had a soprano voice, I'd done something wrong. They decided to wait to see if we continued to complain, or if the name on the account (a masculine name) was able to fix what some poor woman could not. Their line test had shown a zero (no problem) so I must be lying.

Beloved Husband called back after our dinner, and got immediate, prompt, courteous agreement that there was indeed a problem, that it indeed needed to be fixed, and that they would send someone as soon as possible (Monday), and oh, by the way, Mr. Posessed-of-a-Bass-Voice, we re-did the line test, and there is indeed a short, and the problem is clearly not in your home.

So - Pet Peeve the Second - Sexism from My Fellow Females, Because Both Agents Were Female

This is not the first time. One of Eldest Daughter's teachers gave her a B for her quarter grade when she had received no grade below an A. He admitted to her that he had erred and told her he would fix it (three separate times!, no action), he told me the same thing (twice!, no action), and when Beloved Husband called, it was fixed the very next day. With a single phone call. The funny thing is that Beloved Husband sounds gentle and polite on the phone, even with people he doesn't care for, because he was raised to be polite. He is not out there Teal'c-ifying them into submission at all!

The Upshot: BAD PEEVES! GO LIE DOWN! NO TREATS FOR YOU!

For you out there who are not Peeves, but f-list instead, thank you for listening. I feel so much better now.

Comments

( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
wanderingsmith
Sep. 14th, 2013 10:16 pm (UTC)
(hug)
Blame anniversary chaos on friday the 13th. Try again fall equinox? Was food good? (you see my priorities, yes? There's a reason i'll never be less than overweight , lol)

People who don't tell the truth... i have done this rant. There is a messup in the cultural software.

Sexism...... SNARL.
thothmes
Sep. 15th, 2013 12:51 am (UTC)
Re: (hug)
Yes, the food was yummy. I had the heirloom tomatoes with basil, the almond and herb crusted trout with grilled seasonal vegetables and basmati rice. Beloved Husband had the Asian spring rolls, with sesame noodles, the crab and scallion cakes, with grilled vegetables and mashed potatoes, and the blueberry cheesecake. :)
wanderingsmith
Sep. 15th, 2013 02:24 am (UTC)
Re: (hug)
yumm, sounds delish :)
drewandian
Sep. 14th, 2013 10:47 pm (UTC)
ugh ugh and ugh

I HATE HATE HATE when people bail at the last minute!!!! It's one of my biggest peeves as well...and my sisters do it to me all the time. I've stopped asking them to do stuff (did the karaoke thing last night, didn't tell them...got "aw I woulda gone. you shoulda reminded me", said "ooops" ;) )

The sexism stuff is annoying. I hate getting my oil changed or shopping for cars simply because I have breasts so I get treated like an idiot...people are stupid. *nod*

I'm glad you guys still got your dinner together (what a cool anniversary!!!). Was it tasty?
thothmes
Sep. 15th, 2013 12:52 am (UTC)
Yes, the food was yummy. I had the heirloom tomatoes with basil, the almond and herb crusted trout with grilled seasonal vegetables and basmati rice. Beloved Husband had the Asian spring rolls, with sesame noodles, the crab and scallion cakes, with grilled vegetables and mashed potatoes, and the blueberry cheesecake. :)
drewandian
Sep. 15th, 2013 02:17 am (UTC)
mmmmm sounds so good!
latetothesj
Sep. 15th, 2013 02:40 pm (UTC)
Congratulations on the anniversary! It's bad enough when your plans have to be changed due to someone else, it's the worse if your plans are extra special. The food sounds delicious though!

Ergh and eyeroll on the sexist female voice issue. I wish I had a deeper voice sometimes. I think I remember research studies showing that people "trust" a male voice more. People don't question when a male voice is firm sounding close to aggressive but a female voice is expected to sound nurturing and more tolerated when it's gentle but a firm female voice can be considered whining, nagging, or bitchy.
thothmes
Sep. 15th, 2013 06:27 pm (UTC)
Thanks. It was a nice anniversary, in spite of everything. The Inn had even printed out a special copy of the menu for us, wishing us a happy anniversary, and they sent it home with the takeout!
rdamel
Sep. 15th, 2013 02:52 pm (UTC)
I love the "number" of your anniversary, but I'm so sorry you didn't get the night out that you had planned. Disappointing! And so disappointing when someone bails on you. I have that issue with one "friend" here, I have learned not to count on her at all, sometimes she comes thru, but usually she lets something else take priority over whatever it was she said she'd do for me at the museum. Annoying!

You'd think that sexism thing would be over by now--how sad for our world that it's not. As a young married woman in 1973, and ever since, the only time I've identified myself as "Mrs. Tom Middleswart" rather than Melissa M. is when I'm dealing with a car place--I want them to know who my husband is so they'll give me better service!

I'd definitely ask to speak to someone in management about your phone problems, and tell them what happened and how much that annoys you, and that you are telling all your friends. Potentially the phone company will get the message and train their people better!

Happy Anniversary!
Melissa M.
thothmes
Sep. 15th, 2013 06:52 pm (UTC)
I had a good snicker over the idea of complaining to management about this phone company. It has a history in three states of ignoring complaints just long enough that the states individually threaten to pull the company's Certificate of Public Good which allows them to do business in the state, and then they clean up their act... for a while. it is a company that has expanded too fast, and is undercapitalized, with a home base in the Southeast. Up here in the Northeast, they filled the vacuum that was left when Verizon left, and right now they are the option. If I were in a place with options I'd definitely try that!

I guess what really disappoints me is that this is a kid that I've known since she was a toddler, and one that I've stepped up to the plate for tons of times. When she was in upper elementary school and finding it scary to sleep away from home, it was our house she came to to try it out until she finally mastered it, and that was a lot of post-midnight drives to her house, a half hour away. I just thought that she would understand why this time mattered. She has just gotten very self-centered and stayed a little immature compared to her classmates, I guess. I hope she cleans her act up fast, though, because she has a son due in late December!
rdamel
Sep. 16th, 2013 01:53 pm (UTC)
Oh, dear, that's really too bad about your phone company!

Such a shame about the (non) babysitter--even worse if she's expecting, as one thing a kid needs is a responsible parent! Birth control is simple, I fail to see why more don't use it!!
thothmes
Sep. 16th, 2013 03:56 pm (UTC)
Well, in this case she has a very prone-to-stray 16 year old boyfriend. I think that this may have been a case of thinking that if she has his baby, she will naturally be granted his love, admiration, and hand in marriage forever. She's a nice, sweet, well-meaning kid, but has been boy-crazy in a very unhelpful way since she was in middle school, and she was never particularly strong in the common sense department. The thing that really left a bad taste in my mouth was the way that as soon as the pregnancy was confirmed, the girl's mother began to run on all over Facebook about how delightful it was that her baby was pregnant (at eighteen!). I have a feeling that the girl may not have been getting the guidance she deserved at home, either. :(
rdamel
Sep. 17th, 2013 01:10 am (UTC)
Oh, dear, obviously the mother has no common sense at all either--and will probably end up raising this baby, too.

I get so tired of this pattern repeating over and over--it was one thing when birth control wasn't available, or hard to get or difficult to use.
None of those excuses work at all, now. And thinking some guy is going to love you forever if you have his baby--Ha! Such a shame all the way around.
draco_somnians
Sep. 15th, 2013 06:47 pm (UTC)
Happy Anniversary! Sorry you didn't get the night out that you'd planned. :( It sucks when people let you down at the last minute like that.

The sexism...ugh. I hate it even more when it comes from women! There's a lady in my office who, every time something slightly technical needs doing in the office, tells us "we need to find a man to do that". Um, no, *swears*, give me the screwdriver, I'll do it! It drives me nuts.
thothmes
Sep. 15th, 2013 07:20 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I come from a family that is not a respecter of gender roles at all. We are not above using other's sexism against them when occasion arises. When I was due, back at the close of the 1950s, my parents had to use the charity ward of Colombia Presbyterian Hospital. On her last check up before I was born, my mom was handed a form to sign so that all the paper work was filled out before the delivery. Her father was a high powered lawyer with Stated Department connections, and Mom had been working a a paralegal in his own firm until she was considered to be too pregnant for an office setting. She read what she was handed. It was a blanket release that would allow the hospital to do anything including sterilize her, without further permission, and hold them harmless. She looked up at them, looked as ditzy and dependent as she was capable, and said "Oh, I couldn't possibly sign this without consulting my husband!!!" This was the Little Woman they were conditioned to expect, so they said she could sign it when she came in after labor had started. They assumed with a first child the labor would be upwards of 12 hours before delivery. Mom knew that she (a first child) was delivered after an hour and a half of labor, and that these things can be heritable. It was, and they were so busy delivering me by the time my parents got to the hospital that the evil release was never signed. She let them know what she thought of the thing (which Dad never did lay eyes on, and he would have deferred to her superior knowledge in any case) at discharge, when they no longer held any power over her.

Edited at 2013-09-15 07:23 pm (UTC)
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