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Title: But We Have Dwelt In Tents, And Have Obeyed
Author: Thothmes
Word count: 17,543
Rating/Warning: PG-13 for a few words and a few discussions of violence.
Spoilers: Emancipation, First Commandment, Thor's Hammer, Bloodlines, Singularity, Cor-ai, Enigma, Prisoners, Family, Tokra Parts 1&2, In The Line of Duty, The Gamekeeper, The Fifth Race, Serpent's Song, Point of View, Learning Curve, Foothold, Shades of Grey, Forever and a Day, Past and Present, The Other Side, Crossroads, Divide and Conquer, Tangent, Chain Reaction, Absolute Power, Prodigy, Exodus, Fifth Man, Beast of Burden, Between Two Fires, Wormhole X-Treme, 48 Hours, Menace, Meridian, Cure, Disclosure, Redemption, Prophesy, Orpheus, Fragile Balance, Space Race, Birthright, Heroes, Icon, Gemini, Affinity, It's Good To Be King, Moebius. Pairings, all canon: Jack/Sara, Daniel Sha're, Teal'c/Drey'ac, Moebius AU Jack/Moebius AU Sam.
Prompt: Prompt #169. Classic Team. Random conversations during night watches/in tents off-world. I went with tents.


"You know, Daniel, It’s been five days now, and I can’t decide whether you’re spending more of your time being pissy or being smug."

"I don’t have a clue what you are talking about, Jack!"

"Yes you do."

"No, I don’t. I’ve just been sitting here going over my notes on those inscriptions that were on the North Wall."

"Well, now, yeah. But for the past few days you’ve been spending your time either being smug or pissy. Quite frankly, it’s getting a little old for me. Move on."

"The Euronda mission. You’re talking about what happened on Euronda."

"Of course I am."

"Silly me, assuming that we were talking about this mission."

"Well, yes, if you ask me – Which you haven’t, by the way."

"Well, I guess I can see why you might think I was pissy – Which I absolutely was not, by the way. I was justifiably angered by the way that I raised the right questions, and you just shut me down. We were about to make a deal with Hitler’s long lost cousin, Jack! And you just shut me down."

"And you undercut my command and challenged me to my face in front of a possible ally, an unknown quantity. Do that, and I’ll shut you down each and every time!"

"So you wouldn’t discuss it because you thought I made you look silly?"

"Because you made me look weak. I’m the leader, Daniel. If the people we come across think they can take me, then you are all in danger. I can’t have that. Look, it’s okay to tell me I’m being an idiot and I can’t see the nose on my own face. Just pull me aside and do it in private, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. Fair enough. You have to admit, this time I saw what the dynamic was before you did!"

"Aaaand there we have it, folks! The smug."

"I was right, and you were wrong. Admit it."

"Oh, I will. Just about the time that you apologize for telling me to sit on that vicious throne thing on P5X-995 so you could get your picture of the object in use!"

"Jack! There was no way I could have known it would do that!"

"Twenty-two stitches in my butt, Daniel! A full week of eating my meals off the mantle!"

"And Teal’c and I brought you food and made sure you were well supplied with Guinness that whole time, so you wouldn’t have to drive yourself anywhere. That wasn’t apology enough?"

"Liverwurst?!!! You call that food?"

"I happen to like liverwurst!"

"You can have it!"

"You’re just trying to pick a fight with me to get my mind off the admission that I was right!"

"Did it work?"

"Well, actually, for a while, it did."

"Well, there ya’ go. Superior tactics."

"Yes, you’re very sneaky, Jack! Now can I go back to my notes?"

"Be my guest."


"So, Teal’c. I was off greeting the President and Counselor Persus. Do you know what it was that made the zatarc detector think that Sam and Jack were zatarcs?"

"I was there when they were retested."


"They were determined to not be zatarcs after all."

"And that’s all you are going to tell me?"


"I guess I’ll just have to get it out of Janet."

"Doctor Fraiser will not tell you either."

"No. No she won’t. I asked Sam and Jack yesterday morning at breakfast, and they did that scary turn and look at you with the same expression thing that they sometimes do. Froze me right out."

"They deserve their privacy. This does not concern you, Daniel Jackson."

"Why were you there?"

"I wished to prevent a repetition of the unfortunate events surrounding the demise of Lieutenant Astor."

"So I’m the only member of the team that doesn’t know what went on.

And it’s going to stay that way."


"You are a very stubborn individual, Teal’c."

"So Drey’ac has often informed me."


"That glider took you further out into the solar system than any N.A.S.A. astronaut has ever been, sir."


"I wanted to be an astronaut. It’s why I joined the Air Force."

"Not because of Dad?"

"Well, maybe a little, but mostly because I wanted to join the shuttle program and get out into space."

"Bet you’re glad that never panned out."

"I’ll always regret what happened to the Challenger, but yes, I’m glad I ended up here."

"It is a pleasant little planet, isn’t it? Sunny little beaches, not too warm, not too cool, just enough tropical vegetation to remind you you’re in Paradise, without becoming too in your face…"

"I didn’t exactly mean here here, sir, although it is one of the nicer planets we’ve visited. Did you ever want to be an astronaut, sir?"

"Never gave it much thought. Didn’t think I’d make the cut."

"What made you choose the Air Force, sir?"

"Other than it pissed off my dad?"

"He was a Vietnam War protester?"

"Nah. He served in Korea. He was a marine."



"The close up view of Jupiter was cool. I could have done without the headache, though. It kind of sucked most of the fun out of it."

"Are you sorry you didn’t get to see the Oort cloud after all?"

"Not really. I discovered I‘ve become a breathing addict, and those first stages of withdrawal are really, really unpleasant."

"I’ll be glad to take your word for that, sir."

"Thanks to you, there’s another first I’ve racked up. Too bad I can’t tell Guinness Book of World Records."

"What’s that, sir?"

"First man to actually touch space."

"A vacuum is absence of matter, sir. You can’t really touch it."


"Sorry. I’ll stop sucking the fun out of it now."

"That’s okay, Carter. You, Daniel, and Dad saved our lives. I’ll let you get away with it this time."


"So, if you don’t mind my asking, sir, what was the other reason you joined the Air Force."

"I wanted to fly jets, like my uncle. I like things that go fast."

"A wormhole is much faster than a jet."

"Oh yeah! And about twice as disorienting."

"We have such cool jobs, sir!"

"That we do, Carter, that we do."


"Your watch was uneventful, as was mine."

"Yes. The Colonel’s on now. I guess that burst he fired into the air probably scared those things away. Those were some fangs!"


[rustling sounds]



"If General Bauer had stayed in charge of the S.G.C., would you have stayed? Or would you have gone to the Land of Light to be with Drey’ac and Ry’ac?"

"I do not know. I would not have left before the return of O’Neill, but after that, I am uncertain. I would have wanted to be sure that you and Daniel Jackson and O’Neill were able to serve honorably. If that was not possible here, I might have suggested that we do so from another place. General Bauer was a man of no honor. It is difficult to see how the S.G.C. could continue to carry forward the battle with its honor intact with such a leader."

"I was glad to see him go too, Teal’c. I was considering leaving the military if things continued on like that."

"Earth would have lost the services of a great warrior."

"Why, thank you, Teal’c!"

"You have earned it."


"Sam, in that dream that Shifu sent me, well it was about how the Goa’uld knowledge could turn anyone into a corrupt individual. I feel like I should apologize."

"You’re Canadian?"

"No. American. I spent some of my early childhood in Egypt while my parents worked there, but I was born here. My grandfather was Dutch until he became a naturalized citizen."

"It was a joke, Daniel. Haven’t you noticed that Canadians do this cute little apology thing at the drop of a hat?"

"No. No. I guess I hadn’t."

"As far as I’m concerned, then, if you did something in your dream that you feel you need to apologize for, I guess I feel that since there’s no harm, at least from my point of view, then there’s no foul."

"But the things I did were indefensible. I turned into a monster! The things that I did… I thought I was acting for the best as I made each move, but when I think about the thing I had become at the end of the dream, I just feel sick about it."

"It was a dream, Daniel. It never happened."

"That’s just what Jack said."

"He’s right."

"I guess so. Can I apologize anyway?"

"Sure, if it will make you feel better."

"Thanks, Sam. And I’m so, so sorry."

"Just don’t do it again, Daniel!"

"Jack said that too."


"So, Teal’c. Back on that moon, the one with the vicious little killer fireflies, what did you think of Carter’s little Mini-me?"

"If by that you mean Cadet Haley, she has the makings of a valiant warrior, but she displays great arrogance. She needs to be humbled before she can gain true strength."

"Yeah. I thought so too. Hammond asked me to come up with some training scenarios for the new recruits we get from the Academy this spring. Haley’s going to be one of them, unless the unthinkable happens, and she flunks her courses. Or filets a fellow cadet. I have some ideas jotted down. When we get back to the base I’d like to have you take a look at them with me, see if we can fine tune them to teach them all a little something. I don’t want them coming out here assuming that because they know what works on Earth that they are prepared for the surprises out here."

"This seems wise. I will be pleased to add my input."


"So, Jack?"

"Make it fast, Daniel. I’d like to get some shut-eye in before my watch in… oh… three hours and twenty-six minutes."

"You were the only one to see what Lt. Tyler really looked like. I want to know what you know, so I can begin to make educated guesses as to whether cultural remains we might come across would be from his people. There might be artistic depictions that I could match with their physiology if I knew what that was."

"For this you’re keeping me up? Read my report."

"Why? You never read mine!"

"I do, Daniel. I just don’t memorize them."

"Well, I happen to have read yours, and ‘skeletally thin with weird snaky bits for hair’ isn’t much to go on."

"I didn’t have a camera, Daniel! He only gave me a brief glimpse, for cryin’ out loud!"

"Think over what you saw. What kind of a nose did he have? What were his eyes like? Did he have any distinctive clothing or adornment?"

"As far as I could tell, he was butt naked, and kinda dark purplish, and… Look, when we get back to Earth, I’ll try to draw you a picture. Okay?"

"Okay, I guess. I wish I had gotten to see him too."

"So do I. Then maybe I’d be sleeping now. Done? Can I sleep now?"

"For now. Knock yourself out."

"I don’t think it will quite come to that."


"You do not settle. You toss and turn. What troubles you, Daniel Jackson?"

"I still don’t know whether I did the right thing on the last planet. I was so sure at the time that the Unas needed to be free. Jack wasn’t happy, and I was sure I was right, and he was wrong. Now I’m not so sure."

"The Unas were enslaved. Surely this is wrong, and by your actions you have started them on the path to freedom. Surely in this you are on the right side of history."

"Oh, I agree that slavery is wrong. For that matter, so does Jack. It’s the method of throwing off the chains that’s bothering me. We started a war, Teal’c. War kills, and disproportionately it is the weak and the helpless that are killed. When we were waiting for our physicals in the infirmary after we got home, Jack turned to me and just said ‘How many children have you killed today, Daniel?’ He’s right. A lot of children and other innocents will die before it’s all over and the Unas are free."

"To enslave others is a great evil, Daniel Jackson, one that Tau’ri religious tradition would name a sin. It is the nature of sins that they visit their evil upon the innocents. That is why they are sins. In this case, the children will suffer for the sins of their forefathers. It is the payment for their sins, one they could have predicted if they had been wiser."

"Sometimes, Teal’c, the universe is a great disappointment."

"We toil each day according to our gifts to make it better. It is the only thing of lasting value that we can do."

"So you think I did the right thing."

"I think you have pierced a festering boil. The immediate results are quite ugly. As a result of your action, in the end, health will be restored. The cost of the Unas’ freedom was inherent in the decision to enslave them. You did not make that decision, Daniel Jackson, so you should not assume the burden of that cost."

"Thanks, Teal’c. I think I can sleep now."

"You are welcome, Daniel Jackson."


"Hey, Carter?"

"Yes, sir?"

"I’ve just been meaning to say I’m sorry we couldn’t re-establish communications with the Tollan. I won’t miss their smugly superior attitude, but Narim was a good guy."

"Yes, sir. He was."

"A bit creepy that he made his house sound like you, though."

"I wasn’t entirely comfortable with that, either, sir. I tried to be flattered, but it didn’t quite work out."

"He really cared for you, Carter."

"I was never really sure of that, sir. I got the feeling that he was more taken with the idea of me than the real me, but I guess we’ll never be sure."

"Oh, he loved you, Carter. Half the galaxy does."

"Half. Wow."

"The other half doesn’t like girls. They don’t dislike you, per se, they just don’t like you in that way."

"Now you’re embarrassing me, sir."

"You’re so modest."

"So are you, sir."

"Yep, that’s me. Modest. Mild-mannered. Self-effacing. I’m getting measured for my cape tomorrow, you know!"

"’Night, sir."

"G’night, Carter."


"While we were on the set of Wormhole X-treme, I observed some of the scenes being filmed. I gained a greater appreciation of the way in which your entertainment programs are produced, but I remain puzzled."

"I wasn’t on the set very much, Teal’c. I’m not sure I’d be the right person to clear up the confusion. Have you tried discussing this with the Colonel?"

"I have not."

"Oh. Well, I’ll do my best."

"That is all I require."

"You don’t ask much, do you?"

"I do not believe so."

"No, that was a… never mind. What puzzles you?"

"Martin Lloyd bases his show on the S.G.C. Your government allows the program to air because it gives you what O’Neill has termed ‘plausible deniability’."


"There are many similarities between the S.G.C. and Martin Lloyd’s creation, but his team is not realistic."

"Not from what I saw certainly."

"They say they cannot adequately depict the alien races they encounter, because they have to reserve much of their time for developing love interests for all of their characters. This is not realistic. In my experience, the life of a warrior is quite often a lonely one, and your Air Force has regulations that prevent such relationships between team members."

"Well, at least Munroe is getting some! So what’s the problem, Teal’c?"

"In order for this show to provide ‘plausible deniability’ it needs to be a success, and I fail to see how a program with unrealistic aliens, and characters that bear little resemblance to the actual warriors of the S.G.C. can stay on the air long enough to achieve that. This program is ridiculous. As the Air Force adviser, why did O’Neill not demand that they make changes to the way these things are written?"

"Well, for one thing, because that’s not the way our government works. The producers have the right to tell whatever stories they want to tell, and the government has no control over that. That’s what the First Amendment to the Constitution is all about. The Colonel can ask them to change things, or tell them that that is not the way that things are done in the real Air Force, but in the end, the most he and the Air Force can do is to withdraw the services of the Air Force adviser if they feel that their advice is being ignored."

"This must have been most frustrating for O’Neill."

"I really think it was. He was very glad to hand off the job to Major Samuels."

"The same Major Samuels who was formerly General Hammond’s executive officer?"

"The very one. The Colonel recommended him, and General Hammond passed that on to the Pentagon."

"O’Neill has a fine sense of justice."

"I’m just as glad not to be in the Colonel’s black books. I’m betting the Major is finding his new posting highly frustrating, although I bet he’ll feel that getting his name in the credits is some compensation. Personally I look forward to watching Wormhole X-treme when it hits the airwaves."

"Indeed. I would be honored if you would observe it with me. Perhaps we could invite O’Neill and Daniel Jackson. I have purchased a supply of popcorn for my microwave. We could watch and comment together."

"Sounds like fun. Too bad it probably won’t last long enough for the get together to become a tradition."




"Yes, O’Neill"

"It’s about that Jaffa revenge thing. You’re kinda creepin’ me out."

"I do not feel the need for revenge upon you."

"Good! That’s good. But see here’s the thing. I know you wouldn’t exact revenge just because I took the last chicken M.R.E…. [brooding silence] Well, maybe you would, but it wouldn’t be anything too bad… A painful defeat at ping-pong, maybe. Out in the field with other folks, well that’s different. I can’t have you wandering off on some Jaffa revenge thing without any warning. It leaves me short a Jaffa, and then all my carefully crafted battle plans get all… unbalanced. It’s not pretty."

"You are an able tactician, capable of altering plans to fit the circumstances. Revenge upon those who have wronged is a necessity for Jaffa."

"Yeah, see, I got that. (And thank you, by the way. You flatter me.) I think I understand, almost. The thing is, I don’t seem to have a feeling for what’s a revenge-able offense. Killing loved ones and cuckoldry are perhaps a little obvious, but are there others? Mama jokes? Bad fashion sense? And how many grudges do you have out there? Can I get a list? Do you still feel the need to disembowel Maybourne, for instance?"

"I am revenged. Chronos and Tanith are deceased. Frotak is dead also, although not by my hand. There are no others. Maybourne has since altered the balance by helping to rescue Major Carter, and by helping you find the key to removing my pattern from the gate. I shall not revenge myself against him unless events change."

"And you’ll keep me posted if you rack up any more?"

"I will."

"Good, ‘cause I’m tellin’ you now, between our unscheduled little trip back to Vorash, and the frequent flier miles I racked up with Maybourne trying to get you outta that gate, I’m getting a bit fed up."

"Indeed, you have consumed my chicken M.R.E."

"But you like mac and cheese."

"I do not. It contains bovine lactose."

[ a "blaatt!" noise]

"Aagh!... God! That’s revenge enough, Teal’c! Open the tent flap, will ya’?"

"You have learned your lesson?"

"[cough] Yes!"

"Then I shall open the flap."


"So, you glad to be rid of that cast?"

"Oh, yeah. I was continually almost braining myself with it as I reached up to adjust my glasses. I’m just as glad as you and Jack and Teal’c to be out in the field again too. I love getting translations done and artifacts catalogued, but lately I’ve been finding it a bit… routine."

"I know just what you mean. When I’m in the field, I feel like I don’t ever get enough lab time, but when I’m in the lab, I miss the field."

"There’s something I’ve been thinking over, the past few weeks, about Reese."

"What about her?"

"When Jack shot her, he said that you had told him that Reese was losing control of her Replicators. Is that true? Did he really need to kill her?"

"I can’t be sure that she was losing control, Daniel. There were signs that the Replicators were beginning to move more independently, but nothing I could really pin down and know for sure. Still, the Colonel did have to shoot her."

"Why? I was so close to getting her to turn them off and go to sleep, and he just blew her away."

"You feel like you failed in your responsibility to Reese."

"Yes. She trusted me. She thought of me as her friend."

"The Colonel had a responsibility to this entire planet, Daniel. He couldn’t fail. The stakes were too high for him to gamble on the humanity of one flawed machine that even its creator had given up on."

"I just think of all the things we might have learned from her. It might have turned the tide in the Asgard’s battle against the Replicators. Not to mention advancing our knowledge of robotics!"

"Some knowledge is just too costly, Daniel. As a scientist I hate to say that, but as a soldier I know it’s true. The Colonel did his job. He made a threat assessment, and decided that Reese was too dangerous. If I had been there I would have done the same thing."

"You would?"



"If there’s one thing I’ve learned in this job, Daniel, it’s that you can’t let the what-if’s get to you. You’ll go crazy that way. There are too many, and they’ll eat away at you."

"You’re probably right. Thanks, Sam."

"Sure thing, Daniel."


"I can hear you grinning, Jonas. It’s keeping me awake. Cut it out."

"I’m sorry, Colonel. It’s just my first time in a tent. I love new experiences!"

"Yes, you do. Could you love them less cheerfully?"

"You don’t like cheerful?"

"Not when I’m trying to sleep."

"Sorry, Colonel. I’ll try to stop."

"See that you do."


"Teal’c? Could you explain an Earth expression to me? Colonel O’Neill keeps saying it, but I can’t find it in any of the dictionaries on base."

"And which expression is that?"


"Ah. That is one of the sayings of Homer Simpson, a character in a television entertainment that O’Neill favors. It is something the character says when mistakes occur."

"Okay, when I look back to the contexts, that would make sense. What is it about this program that the Colonel likes so much?"

"I cannot say. I find his fascination with this program unfathomable."

"Kind of the way I feel about the Colonel himself."

"He is a complicated individual. He hides much."

"He told me he was a simple guy."

"He is not."

"I’m beginning to understand that."


"Oh, sorry. The Colonel told me I should sleep in here. I must have misunderstood."

"No, come back Jonas. This is your tent too. Your stuff is over there."


"Is there something wrong?"

"No. It’s just… awkward. In Kelowna it would be scandalous sharing a tent with a woman if we weren’t married or engaged."

"Oh. Well here there are only two tents for the four of us, so somebody has to share with the girl."

"I can learn new ways. It just caught me off guard for a minute. I’m fine now."

"That’s good. And I should warn you, the Colonel says that sometimes I snuggle in my sleep."


"I’m just kidding, Jonas. It was a joke."

"Of course."


"So, T. The Tok’ra say that they think they might be able to tweak that Tretonin stuff that the Pangarans were making to get a form that the Jaffa could use in place of a Junior."

"He mentioned the possibility. I am unsure of the motives of the Tok’ra in doing this."

"To free the Jaffa. If the Jaffa are free, the Goa’uld lose power."

"Whether it would free the Jaffa remains to be seen."

"Why? If you don’t need a Junior, then the Goa’uld can’t hold you."

"If the means of production are in the hands of the Tok’ra, then we will have simply changed one master for another."

"Good point. I’ll talk to Hammond about getting the Tok’ra to share the production know-how with us. We’ll say it’s because the Tok’ra are under constant threat of attack, and we need to be able to make it in case the Tok’ra are out of reach."

"The Jaffa nation will thank you, O’Neill."

"If they manage to get it right, would you switch?"

"Only if necessary. The possibility exists that I could be cut off from the ability to get the dosages I needed under certain circumstances, or that withholding of the dose could be used for coercion."

"You would not break, Teal’c."

"I would not."


"So now that other governments know about the Stargate Program, do you ever wonder what it would be like if the Program went public?"

"I dread that, Carter. Armin Sellick… Selig, that reporter in D.C. that got killed in the hit and run, said that when the truth came out I’d be a hero. I don’t want to be a hero. That’s crap."

"You kind of are, sir."

"I’m just an ordinary guy, Carter, who was lucky enough to land an extraordinary job. How about you? Would you like it if the ‘gate went public."

"No, sir. I think the reporters and curiosity seekers would really get in the way."

"Well, maybe you could get onto the cover of The Star for dating an alien hunk."

"You’d be on the cover too with an alien babe, sir."

"With my luck they’d get a picture of me with Thor, and publish that. It’d be really crappy if Sara thought I’d replaced her with a Roswell gray!"

"I’d be worried about Cassie and Teal’c and Jonas. And Nyan. And Martin Lloyd. I’m not so sure that people will handle the knowledge that there are aliens living among them well."

"I know. Hammond and I have worked out a contingency plan to send them and Doc Fraiser to the Alpha site if things start to look bad."

"You think more than a few moves ahead, sir."

"It’s my job, Carter."

"Yes, sir."


"You have seemed troubled since our confrontation with the human form Replicators."

"Teal’c the father confessor again?"

"If you wish, Major Carter. I merely wished to know what troubles you."

"I wonder if the Colonel did the right thing stranding Fifth. We betrayed him. I just have a bad feeling that it will come back to haunt us some day. I thought that maybe if we took him with us, he might be able to teach us what the human form Replicators are like, how to defeat them. He wasn’t hostile like the others. He was more… human."

"While that is true, I believe, as does O’Neill that this makes him more dangerous. It is too easy to assume that he will react and make choices like a human. He is not a human being. He is a machine."

"So what if he escapes containment and reacts just like a human being and comes to seek revenge?"

"I do not see a way that this could occur, but if it did, we would, as O’Neill is so fond of saying, cross that bridge when we come to it."

"I guess you’re right. Maybe I’m just borrowing trouble. I’m also trying to think a few more steps ahead, like the Colonel does. I’m going to need that if I have my own command some day, but in this case I think any contingency plans would depend on how he broke out in the first place, so I guess it is a bit early to be worrying about that. Thanks Teal’c"

"Go in peace, Major Carter."

"Hey, Teal’c. That was funny!"



"Jonas Quinn seemed nice."

"Yeah, Daniel, he was. Very... eager to please."

"He didn't change my office much. I had a little trouble finding the dental picks I use for cleaning out accretions on objects, but he even had all my journals in order.

"He read them all in the first three days, and memorized them. I don't think that he had to consult them since. I was... a little lost, the Colonel didn't really want to have anything to do with him at that point, and Teal'c... well, Teal'c is a little intimidating to people who don't know him at first. So Jonas read all your journals, and developed a thing for the Weather Channel in the first few weeks."

"He read them all? I don't know, Sam. I find that a bit disturbing. I know that they are primary sources, and that future scientists will be consulting them, but I never really thought that someone that actually knew me would read them. I can't think of anything personal in there, but still."

"He seemed to have the utmost admiration for you, Daniel, so I don't think you have anything to worry about."

"That's good to know. If a little bit puzzling"

"He was like that at first with everybody. The Colonel used to complain at first that it was like having a frighteningly intelligent puppy underfoot all the time."

"Oh, Jack must have taken to that well. See a lot of Colonel Curmudgeon did you?"

"Oh, yeah. I started to feel bad for Jonas. He felt so guilty over his role in what happened to you, and he was trying so desperately hard to fit in and be useful. He kept asking Teal'c and me what he'd done to upset the Colonel."

"Jack seemed to have accepted him by the time he left, though. He wouldn't have said what he did if he didn't mean it."

"Jonas was a good guy. He saved us a number of times, not just with his quick mind, but once he swam an incredible way underwater to free the Colonel and I when we were trapped. He risked his life once when he put off having a tumor removed from his brain so he could try and help us."

"He did seem to be an amazingly fast learner. Jack tells me he remembered everything he read, and he read amazingly fast."

"He did. He went through all the books in your office in a month, and all the books in the departmental library before he'd been there six months."

"I'll never be able to match that. I don't even remember more than glimpses of what I experienced while I was ascended."

"It's okay, Daniel. Jonas was bright. He was a fast learner, and helped us out at risk to his own life, when he could have chosen to stick around on base and been a pure researcher instead, but he wasn't you. I'll miss having Jonas around, but he wasn't you. We're all really glad to have you back with us, Daniel."

"Even Jim?"

"That joke's getting stale, Daniel."

"Point taken. It was fun while it lasted, though. I'll never tire of seeing Jack make that face!"

"You're terrible!"

"I know!"


"So, this Logy guy -"

"Loki, Jack."

"Low key?"

"Loki. Accent on the first syllable."

"Ah. Yeah, him."

"What about him?"

"You say that Loki was the Norse god of mischief?"

"Yes, like Anansi, or Coyote in Native American tales, or Jack in the traditional stories of Appalachia _"

"Jack, huh?"

"Yes, Jack. Just like you. Only brighter."

"Well, obviously."

"So what did you want to know about him."

"I didn't."

"Yes, you did."


"You asked! You started this whole conversation."

"About Loki, not Jack!"

"That's who I was talking about."

"No, I distinctly remember you telling me about Jack being brighter than me."

"You are Jack."

"Are 'Jack' as in 'Hello, my name is Jack' or as in 'Jack, you are brighter'?"

"Never mind. What did you want to know about Loki."

"The Asgard, with their little spindly bodies, and their huge brainy heads, they have huge I.Q.'s by human standards, right?"

"Of course. They're very advanced."

"I thought you keep trying to tell us that the people in primitive cultures are just as bright as we are, just less advanced."

"I meant evolutionarily advanced, Jack."

"Oh. Right. Well if they are so smart, didn't they get a clue that Loki might be up to no good by the name he chose to go by? I mean, if I chose to represent myself as Beelzebub, mightn't people assume that I wasn't going to be all sweetness and light?"

"I don't know, Jack. Maybe the Asgard didn't name themselves after Norse gods. Maybe the Norse named their gods after the Asgard they knew."

"Good point. Do you think that back when they had gender the Asgard women looked like Valkyries?"

"What do Valkyries look like?"

"You know. Big women in metal breastplates."

"I have no idea."

"If you end up finding the answer in one of those tomes of yours you'll let me know?"

"You'll be the first to know, Jack."



"I don't get it, Teal'c."

"To what do you refer, Daniel Jackson?"

"You don't seem to be mad at Jack at all. Back at that labor camp, when you are captured, Jack wouldn't let us go in there right away. He had everyone hold fire. You were being beaten, and he wouldn't rescue you."

"If he did not feel that it was the correct time to take action, then it was not the correct time."

"You have that much trust in him?"

"Indeed. Do you not feel the same, Daniel Jackson?"

"I trust Jack, sure, but how could he just stand by and see you get hurt and do nothing?"

"That is part of why I trust him. He has the courage to take that guilt upon himself for the sake of the success of the mission and the safety of those he serves."

"Those who serve under him. He serves the Air Force and the American people."

"Indeed. But he also serves those who serve under him, by concerning himself with their welfare."

"I guess so."

"Besides, in allowing me to confront my weakness, he gave me the chance to see that it is not my body that is the source of my strength. He has returned to me my 'mojo'. For this I am in his debt."

"Jaffa seem to run up a lot of debts."

"Indeed. It is part of what binds us together in a world where individuals are often separated by the will of our gods. Jaffa will commend those to whom they owe debts to the care of those by whom they are owed, so that most Jaffa are never wholly without those around them who would look after their interests."

"Wow. I never knew that."

"You did not ask."


"So, I'm not the only speed freak on SG-1."

"What makes you say that, sir?"

"Don't think I didn't notice how much fun you were having with that Hebridean race, the Loop of.... Congrats?"

"Con Garat, sir. I have to plead guilty. I love speed."

"Yes. Yes you do. And in a related matter, Hammond asked me to mention to you that it's getting harder to explain your need to get to base at speeds outside the posted limits when NORAD is not in emergency mode. "

"Sorry, sir. This time Sergeant Siler said it was urgent."

"Stone-face Siler said that?"

"Yes, sir."

"I'll explain to the General when we get home."

"Thank you, sir."



"Major Carter?"

"How common is it for Jaffa women to become warriors?"

"All young Jaffa are taught the skills of a warrior, regardless of sex. The males will need the skills in battle. The women must know how to defend the home. The female warriors of Hak'tyl are the first I have seen to become warriors in the sense of planning offensive campaigns, rather than purely defending their homes and their young. Jaffa women do not serve in the armies of the Goa'uld."

"Oh. I was wondering, because with all of the Jaffa warriors we've come across, I've never seen any women warriors before, but you seemed to take the warriors of Hak'tyl right in stride."

"When I first came among the Tau'ri, I was indeed somewhat troubled by the idea that women could act as warriors. I feared that your comparative physical weakness would be a liability."

"You never said anything!"

"The ways of the Tau'ri are not the ways of the Jaffa. Is not the saying 'When in Rome, do as the Romans do?' The Jaffa equivalent is 'Each god's warriors follow their own god. '.'"

"You think I'm a liability?"

"I do not. You are a valiant warrior. It is because I have accepted this that I knew that the Hak'tyl were also worthy of my respect."

"Wow, Teal'c. I'm honored."

"You bring honor upon the team, Major Carter. You have earned it."


"I wish to inquire about something, O'Neill."

"Ask away, Teal'c. Knock yourself out!"

"Does Dr. Brightman offend you in some way?"

"No, not really. She's a bit mousy, but she seems competent."

"Yet you scowl when she enters your presence."

"I miss Doc Fraiser."

"As do we all."

"Yeah. She was one of the few docs I could really trust. She always gave it to me straight, and she didn't let me get away with giving her any crap."

"She had the heart of a warrior and the hands of a healer."

"And she knew how to listen to more than just the words."

"Indeed. She touched many lives in her short life. The Jaffa say that a life well lived leaves ripples in the fabric of the universe that echo through time."

"Jaffa poetry?"

"Philosophy, rather."

"It's nice. You should tell Cass that."

"I shall, when the opportunity presents itself."


"Daniel? I hope you won't take this the wrong way, but I'm beginning to see why the General said that you were responsible for all his gray hairs."

"What? What'd I do? I told you I was going with the village holy man to look at the shrine, I went, I saw the paintings of the origin story, I came back without incident. You okayed it!"

"Not today, Daniel. I still haven't gotten over you getting stranded back in the Rand Protectorate. The General trusts me to keep you alive, well, and where we can see you. I want him to be able to have faith in me."

"Jack will always have faith in you, Sam. It's unshakeable."

"Really? You think so?"

"I know so."

"Still, Daniel, you have to be more careful. No getting lost. No getting captured. No getting killed."

"You're really sucking the fun out of the job, Sam."

"It's my job."

"I suppose it is. I'll try."

"That's all I can ask, Daniel."

"See, now that's what I like about having you for a commander. Jack would have said 'See that you do!' and he would have gotten all pissy if I didn't follow the order."

"Yeah, well, you won't like me when I'm angry, Daniel!"

"I'm being good!"

"See that you do."


"You were out there a while past the end of your watch, Teal'c."

"It was gratifying to be able to partake of the outside air and view the stars. Major Carter added a pleasingly companionable silence."

"I'm sorry that living off base didn't work out for you. It must be hard to always be cooped up inside."

"I am not 'cooped up' inside, Daniel Jackson. I often avail myself of the opportunity to climb those portions of the mountain that lie within the confines of the base. I am well known to those who are assigned guard duty. O'Neill has shown me an outlook where I often perform my kel'no'reem."

"Still, I'm sorry you had to move back."

"I am not. I found navigating life among the Tau'ri without a companion was more complex than I had imagined."

"You know that getting caught up in a murder investigation is rare, right?"




"Daniel Jackson seemed to feel that you were troubled, Colonel Carter."

"No, I'm fine, Teal'c. It's nothing."

"Yet you do not lie still."

"It's just... I don't think I handled the whole situation with the replicator version of me at all well."

"Did not O'Neill say that the error was his for sending you into a situation where you were too personally involved without proper safeguards?"

"Well, yes. It's very nice of the General to take responsibility. It is the hallmark of the sort of strong leader he is that he wants to take responsibility for all the things that happen under his command. The fact remains that there is a version of me out there that we can't stop because of the choices I made. I was just beginning to feel that the General really trusted my ability to lead, and now this."

"How many times have you known O'Neill to openly apologize?"

"Plenty of times... A few times... Well, there was that time after I was kidnapped on Simarka..."

"O'Neill dislikes apologizing."

"He does."

"He apologized to you for putting you in that situation."

"He did."

"Therefore he genuinely felt that the outcome was not the result of your incompetence, but of his decision to place you in a disadvantageous position."

"So you don't think he has lost confidence in my command ability?"

"He has not."


"Indeed. He speaks of your achievements as a woman in a field position with pride."

"Thank you, Teal'c."

"You will cease your rustling now?"

"I'm sorry. Was I bothering you?"

"Until I lost my larval goa'uld and required sleep, I did not understand the difficulties that you Tau'ri face on a nightly basis. It is most difficult."

"I calculate out values for pi. I find it soothing. I can calculate out the first thirty or so digits pretty fast these days. Daniel says he tells himself stories over in various languages."

"O'Neill tells me he counts sheep naked. I have not yet determined whether it is O'Neill uncovered, or the sheep."

"Oh, boy. That I did not need to know."

"Indeed. Nor did I. I count the Goa'uld who have died and the manner of their demise, followed by the possibilities for the demise of the rest."

"Oh. Have you considered writing a constitution for the Jaffa nation when it comes into being?"

"This would be a worthy thing for me to contemplate. I thank you, Colonel Carter."

"It was my pleasure, Teal'c."


"You know, Daniel, considering Maybourne's a king, you would think we would get to sleep on luxurious silk sheets in a feather bed instead of out here in a standard issue tent."

"I'm sure if you could have refrained from continually needling him about having so many wives, he might have found us a bed to sleep on, Jack. But no, you had to keep teasing him about that."

"Maybourne's a dog. It was my duty to point that out."

"Well, then I'm sure your hard bed will be softened by the knowledge that you are doing the right thing."

"Not really. I think there's a root sticking up over here, right under my shoulder."

"You're the one who chose that side. You said you wanted to sleep where I wouldn't keep rolling downhill at you."

"You're the one who pitched the tent on a slope on a collection of knobby roots."

"You would prefer I pitch it down there on the nice soft, flat, wet marshy spot?"

"No! The way I see it, Harry had better be planning to feed us a breakfast fit for a king."

"Judging from what I've seen, I wouldn't bet on it. Still, try the guango. Maybourne says they're pretty good."


"Guango. It's a local fruit. Apparently they had another name, but King Harry said they tasted like a cross between a guava and a mango, and decreed that they should be called a guango, and now I can't get a single person to tell me what they were called before!"

"Harry's an irritant."

"An irritant with a lot of wives."

"Now who's harping on that, Daniel?"

"I could have had that, you know, on Abydos, after Ra died. I had offers."


"I thought you envied Harry, the way you were going on about it."

"Nah. Did you see Carter's face? I was sure she was about to burst out with a rant about sexist self-involved degenerates, if Harry had let it go on just a few moments more. I still have hopes for an outburst at the farewell ceremony at the 'gate tomorrow."

"You're a very evil man, Jack O'Neill. And a brave one to risk the wrath of the Sam."

"Sara would tell you I'm just a loveable idiot who can't keep his mouth closed a the right time. It's been years since I've gotten a glimpse of feminist crusader Carter. I kind of miss that."

"Sara thought you were loveable?"

"Oddly enough. It may have been why she married me. That and my startling good looks."

"You never told me Sara had vision problems, Jack."

"Oh, ha, ha!"

"If you had an opportunity to have what Maybourne has, Jack, would you take it?"

"Nope. I did a bad enough job of being there for one woman, Daniel. I get the feeling that before long the bloom's going to be off the rose, and Harry's going to have to live his life in permanent cringing weasel mode. I don't envy him one bit."

"Good point."


"Can I come in, T?"

"You may."

"When the guards told me that you brought a tent up here, I had to see for myself."

"I regret that they have disturbed you, O'Neill. I merely wanted to contemplate the vastness of the universe."

"And the smallness of our lives?"

"It does help to put things in their proper perspective."

"Worried about how the rebel Jaffa will do?"

"I cannot help but feel that we are reaching the end of our struggle. I am certain that we shall prevail in the end, and the Jaffa shall be free. We shall take our place among the nations of the galaxy. "

"Then why the contemplative phase?"

"We have not experienced freedom in our collective memory. I hope that we shall prove worthy."

"You handled freedom just fine, T. Bra'tac seems to be pretty level-headed too. I don't foresee a big problem."

"We benefited from the example of the Tau'ri. Most Jaffa do not have that. It is a very intoxicating thing to realize that no being can determine your path for you. Temptations are many. Freedom is the right to choose. Many will choose the wrong path."

"Yeah, but see, that's how we learn. If ya' don't make mistakes, then you already knew. You weren't learning."

"I fear we will have much to learn."

"You are forgetting something, Teal'c. The other Jaffa won't be working in a vacuum. They'll have you and Bra'tac, the women of Hak'tyl, and Ry'ac as examples. Good examples, Teal'c. The Jaffa people will do fine. It's setting up a government that strikes me as the nightmare."

"We will study many constitutions. We will choose the best aspects, and those most suited to the nature of Jaffa culture."

"Have you watched the news, T? Politics is never pretty. It's about control and power, getting it, keeping it, and wielding it. Add in a warrior culture with a strong history of revenge, and there could be big trouble."

"You are wise, O'Neill. I shall have to discuss this with Bra'tac when we are next together. You have given me much to contemplate."

"Then I'll leave you to it. I've got to go and contemplate the monthly requisitions, or Walter will be looking all disappointed in me again. Can't have that."

"Indeed not."

"Especially if – God forbid!– I should requisition the wrong spuds again. It doesn't bear contemplation!"

"Then I shall turn my mind to other matters, O'Neill."

"Lucky you."




"Did they show you the tape too, with the other us?"

"You mean the one where I – I mean he – said that college football was played on a Saturday, Pro on Sunday, and there were no fish in my pond?"

"Yeah. What do you think they were like, the other us?"

"Well, they were us weren't they? So they were us."

"The other me didn't wear glasses."

"Maybe she wore contacts. I don't know."

"You don't wonder?"

"I'm a pretty simple guy, Sam. I have enough here. Daniel knew them. Why don't you ask him?"

"I don't want to bring it all up again. Besides, he just says we're different. He won't say how."

"Give him time. They were his friends."

"We were talking, Daniel and I, about how we can't stay here. This is the most advanced civilization on Earth just now, and the more advanced the material culture, the more likely they will be able to pick up on something we inadvertently let drop, and then all of human history gets altered. We've got to leave, but where can we go?"

"We have the time ship. We can go anywhere. We can go anywhen."


"Words aren't my strong point. That's Daniel's schtick."

"Where would you go, if you could go anywhere?"

"How about this? We go collect the right kind of seeds, then we scuttle the time ship in Lake Superior where no one will ever find it, and we settle and build a cabin where my cabin is... will be. We can make a point of stocking the lake with fish. It will be our own little getaway."

"I'd like that. Get out of this hot smelly tent, with the sand that gets everywhere, and build a nice cozy cabin of our own. And if we stock the lake with fish there will always be a source of protein for us when we need it. Let's talk it over with Daniel in the morning."


"A nice cozy cabin near a pond, which apparently has real fish in it, a cabin with beds, and mattresses and and clean sheets, and you insist that Teal'c and I carry this heavy canvas tent which looks like it was surplus from the Civil War, while you and Sam pack in the sleeping bags and the food! And it's not even real food, Jack. This had better be good, this thing you want to tell us, because if you've hauled us... no... if you've made us haul all this stuff just in order to tell us you're dying, you won't live long enough to do it?"

"Tell you?"

"No. Die."

"I don't want to die, Daniel. I have no intention of dying. Why would you think that?"

"I didn't think that! I just used it as an example! Why... never mind."

"Sir, why did you bring us up here?"

"I just thought we should have a last night, in a tent, all together, out in the fresh air before we all go our separate ways. You're transferring to Nevada, Sam. Teal'c is going to help found the Jaffa Nation that he has been fighting for so long. Daniel, if he can ever be pried loose from his books, will be going to Atlantis to work his translation miracles there. And I..."

"What is it that you are about to do, O'Neill?"

"I'm leaving too. I have orders to replace General Hammond as the Head of Homeworld Security. He's finally retiring so he can spend some time with the granddaughters."

"Head of Homeworld, Jack? That's great!"

"Congratulations, sir."

"I am certain that you will do an admirable job of ensuring the safety of your planet from 'all enemies, foreign and domestic'."

"Yeah. It's the domestic Washington snakes that I dread. That and the D.C. Summer weather."

"It gets pretty bad outside, sir, but there is air conditioning everywhere. It shouldn't be too bad."

"Anyway, I thought we could have a last night camping out as SG-1. I brought treats."

"Oooh, stuff for 'smores. I love those, sir."

"What is a 'smore?"

"A toasted marshmallow and a square of chocolate sandwiched between graham crackers. I learned to make them in Girl Scouts."

"You were a Girl Scout, Carter? Well of course you were."

"Only for long enough to realize that I was doing all that work selling those cookies door-to-door just for two nights out camping."

"You always were the smart one, Carter."

"Were you ever a Boy Scout, sir?"

"Ahh... no. The meetings were opposite hockey practice. Couldn't miss that!"

"No of course, not. You might miss a chance to check somebody."

"Hockey isn't about the hits, Daniel! It's about the puck, moving it down the ice, passing it, scoring with it."

"When do you leave for Washington, O'Neill."

"As soon as we leave here. Hammond's sticking around long enough to give me my second star, and then he's outta there. Hank Landry's gonna replace me at the S.G.C. I've served with him in... well, since I don't want to have to kill any of you, let's just say that we've served together. He's a good guy. More by-the-book than I am, and he can be a little irascible at times, especially if you push him a bit, but he's a good officer, and he looks out for his people."

"Major General O'Neill. That's great. You really will be able to do anything you want now!"

"Oh, no, Daniel. I'm not falling for that again. I've got it all figured out now. The more them promote you, the more hemmed in you are. They're putting me in the Pentagon, where I can be right under the President's thumb."

"It is nevertheless a great honor, O'Neill."

"Yeah, I'm honored."

"Again, congratulations, sir. To Major General O'Neill"

"To you, Jack!"

"To you, O'Neill!"

"No, to all of us. To SG-1! Enough fuss. Break out the graham crackers, Carter, Daniel, you open those chocolate bars, and Teal'c, hand me that bag of marshmallows. I can't believe we've been together for eight years, and we haven't taught T-man to make 'smores!"

"I am however proficient in toasting marshmallows."

[chorused] "Indeed!"


The End

Part 1 here


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 17th, 2011 06:00 am (UTC)
Thank you! Wanting to get that first exchange out, after it popped right straight into my fron, is the reason I wanted to claim this prompt.

Jack probably eats half his of everyone's marshmallows unroasted, because... well... they were there, right in arm's reach. The ones he does roast vary widely from burnt to barely done because he variety is the spice of life, and besides, he likes to keep the rest of the team guessing.

Sam roasts hers meticulously and carefully, but likes them a little undercooked, according to the others, with the center still a bit hard, and then there's the long wait as she gets the skewer exactly through the center...

Daniel loses track of the marshmallow looking up notes he took earlier in the day, flipping through the pages with his free hand, and the ones that don't slip off the skewer and into the fire are inevitably burnt.

Teal'c, raised in Master Brat'ac's school, believes that if a marshmallow is roasted, it must be roasted well. His reputation as a master of many important skills requires it.

Aug. 17th, 2011 08:47 am (UTC)
This is completely fantastic! I couldn't possibly pick a favorite one...
Aug. 17th, 2011 03:50 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I'm so glad you enjoyed them!
Aug. 18th, 2011 12:30 pm (UTC)
I just sped through all of this, grinning. Teamy goodness PERSONIFIED, I tell you!

Thanks so much for such a great contribution to the ficathon. :)

(And LOL at your direct causality for the fish in the pond!)
Aug. 18th, 2011 03:53 pm (UTC)
Well, somebody, somehow needed to explain how those fish got there without the rest of reality being out-of-whack! The issue has been bothering me since that c.g. fish jumped!

I just think I managed to get an awfully good prompt that was absolutely designed to lead to teamy goodness.

Glad you enjoyed it.
Aug. 24th, 2011 03:25 am (UTC)
So good, both parts, thanks for sharing. I read part 1 soon after it was posted, but as it was long, I put this one off till I had enough time. Finally did tonight and then lj seemed to be down, so I was down too, then it finally responded so I could spend some fannish time reading.

So much teamy goodness!
Melissa M.
Aug. 24th, 2011 03:48 am (UTC)
The important thing is that you got there in the end and that you had a good time along the way!

I'm very glad you enjoyed this. It was certainly fun to write, even if much of it was very *ahem* reminiscent of having a paper due when I was in college - as in written in a great hurry just before the deadline. July is my busy month, the only one when I work outside the home (teaching swimming).

Now that all the summer's work, visits, and vacation days are over, and we will be here following our daily routine and waiting for the school year to begin, I look forward to catching up with my fannish reading myself!
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )



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