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Happy Birthday, Mrs. Pollifax!

Happy Birthday to mrspollifax!, and may your day have been too busy with delightful birthday surprises and carousing for you to be paying much attention to this!

How did I celebrate the day? Mmmmm... Well... I went into the Whirlwind of Distruction (age 8)'s room looking for my missing tape dispenser, and discovered that not only did she have my tape dispenser (which is not allowed to migrate up the stairs!), but several of her sister (age 15)'s most prized possessions, like one of her MP3 players, and her most recent allowance, not to mention plenty of illicit contraband from the pantry (remember Lick 'em Aid, that candy that comes with a stick of candy and a packet of -essentially - flavored sugar to dip it in?), a multitool of my husband's, and a multitude of other sins. And some how since I'd last been in there it had gone from less than neat to wading room only. Moses was going to have to part the Toy and Paper Sea if she was going to go to bed tonight.

So I picked her up from soccer and had the "Your Sins Will Find You Out" talk...Yet AGAIN!

And then we cleaned. And sorted. And cleaned. And sorted. And cleaned. And sorted. And cleaned. And many were the bags of trash removed.

And Lo! there was floor, and it was good. And Lo!Again! there were apologies to those we had wronged, and Giving Back of Stuff, and it was sincere and good. But Bunny, beloved Bunny!, is still confiscated to remind the sinner of how it feels to have stuff taken and unable to be enjoyed.

And Behold! there was withholding of dessert for a week, for the Lick 'em Aid, having once been eaten, does not return unto the packet, and because taking many packets of SplendaTM and consuming them as if they were sugar is just gross!

And when, in the fullness of time, the husband returns, there will be a discussion of the necessity to inform the wife before the debris reaches knee high... oh, say... along about the time there are 10 to 12 items on the floor, none of which is a stuffed animal.

So, mrspollifax, I hope that your two demonstrated angelic and unusually amicable behavior, and presented you with several cute and homemade gifts, and a wilty much-clutched bouquet of flowers, and that everyone else provided delectible desserts, flattering attention, heart-felt protestations that you could not possibly be that age yet, surely not for another five years? as well as catering to your every whim.

Personally, I'm still a little dazed and confused from breathing all that dust, but I am enjoying the coyote howl-in going on up the hill. Perhaps they are doing their best with Happy Birthday, but are a bit challenged in the pitch control department.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 18th, 2010 02:15 pm (UTC)
I win the lame award for not replying sooner, but thanks for the birthday wishes! I did, indeed, get many many handmade pictures and flowers, etc, which are the very best presents. And my day significantly less dusty and cleaning-filled than yours, which of course not all days are. Hee.

(And I'm absolutely on your side on the eating splenda straight is gross issue, in case you ever need backup!)
Oct. 18th, 2010 06:35 pm (UTC)
Very gross. I have issues with artificial sweeteners, and I certainly don't think it is good for anyone (much less a slightly-built child) to be ingesting large quantities of the stuff. We wouldn't have it in the house if it were not for the fact that I am a diabetic, and unless I want to switch to having my coffee black on a permanent basis, I have to have something I can use.

This particular kid (whose biological inheritance is even stronger than my own for heart disease and type 2 diabetes) is a carbohydrate seeking missile. She was recently caught sneaking down to raid the freezer for her sister's ice cream at 5:45 in the morning when parents would be expected to be decently asleep. She was only caught because I had been doing a long (at least long over slow-dialup) download of a program from Microsoft that would allow me to manually download an important update of the Malicious Software Removal Tool, that simply would not work through the automatic updates, and I fell asleep at the computer waiting for that to happen!

We told her that stealing her sister's ice cream was WRONG, and not only was she banned from dessert for an additional week, but if she did it again she would be banned through Halloween!

The next night she did it again. She will only be trick or treating for UNICEF this year. At least she seems to be very gung ho about helping other children get basic needs met. She seems to be approaching the task with all the energy she has (considerable) and has already collected some change that she found on the floor in local businesses, and turned in only to be told she could keep it.

She may be a bit larcenous, but she has a very good heart.

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )



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